DESIRE: Mine - God's

During the summer of 2008 my desire was to find a new job with a much shorter commute. But God had put other plans in motion for open-heart surgery to replace my aortic valve on September 25, 2008. As I recovered at home, I was able to continue working via the internet until my job was eliminated December 31, 2008. I was unemployed!

By April 2009, I started working as a caregiver with Home Instead Senior Care. I was elated that God answered the desire of my heart for a job. Very soon it became evident this job would not provide enough hours or pay to satisfy our financial needs. However, God’s desire was that I might grow in compassion and expand my listening skills as I served these seniors. I enjoyed hearing their stories as I drove them to various appointments or cared for them in their home. While I worked at Home Instead until November 2010, I continued to look for a part-time office position.

By this time the economy was in a deep recession with escalating unemployment. I sent out many resumes for jobs that looked like a good fit for me only to learn that my resume was one of 300-500 applications. No interviews. 

What was God’s desire for me? Our financial situation needed an extra boost from me working 15-20 hours a week. My desire was for an office position with a social service, charitable or ministry focus. God’s desire was to build my character through perseverance in the face of mounting job rejections.

Romans 5:2b-5 (NIV1984) “And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

I started to question if I should retire and trust God to provide for our needs. I suspected age-discrimination with the few interviews I managed to snag through learning to revise my resume to match a specific job description. I lowered my expectations as to wage and applied for seasonal retail employment, but I was only invited for one interview out of a dozen applications. No job offers and discouraging news reports of minimal seasonal jobs.

God’s desire was that I experience hope. It came through writing the devotional on Abraham’s long-realized desire for God’s promised child when he and Sarah were well past child-bearing age [posted 4/13/12]. God did the impossible for them in their old age, after waiting ten years for the reality of a baby. In that waiting time they kept faithfully serving and following God.

How was I to follow God? I took some time off from the job search. With my hope renewed I decided to volunteer through my school district’s Adult Basic Education. I volunteered in the computer lab helping advanced ESL students gain skills on the computer for future jobs and/or college. I learned about MSOffice 2010 which would come in handy at a new job. From here I volunteered to mentor a young man who was struggling with Reading and Writing towards his goal of earning the GED. I enjoyed helping him learn how to read and was delighted when he told me about checking out a library book; he excitedly told me and the teacher what he learned from the book about wind energy. He passed the Reading test! Next we tackled the writing, another love of mine. He would get discouraged at the long, slow process so I kept noting to him little points of progress along the way as did his teacher. I attended his graduation and listened with pride as he presented his speech giving glory to God and thanking all of us who helped him. What a delightful young man who was so appreciative that I would attend his graduation. God used these opportunities to bolster my confidence towards finding a job.

Between volunteering, I worked June and July 2010 with the US Census Bureau as a Numerator. It was encouraging to earn some money doing this important task of making sure everyone is counted. I met a variety of people while trying to fill out the census reports. Again, God was expanding my people skills.

Then one day I noticed an ad in the local Press publication for a job at Christos Center in Lino Lakes. I got excited as I remembered attending classes and events sponsored through Christos. This job would match my desire to use my skills and gifts in a ministry setting in a place whose mission I could wholeheartedly support. I applied, interviewed and waited once again. Would it be another rejection or would it be a job offer?

God’s clear desire for me was to pray for all of the applicants. Only one of us would receive the job offer while the remainder would be rejected. I asked God to help all of us accept God’s Sovereign will in the hiring decision. I prayed for the Christos’ leadership as they completed the interview process making their decision based on God’s leading. God was working in my life as I had not prayed like this after any previous interviews. I even sent a thank-you-for-the-interview letter stating how I was praying for the decision process and for each of the applicants.

The phone rang six days after my interview with a job offer. I accepted. I hung up the phone and began to yell and dance my excitement around the house. Then I called my husband’s cell phone and proceeded to scream a voice message that he couldn’t understand but assumed I got the job.

This scripture came alive for me that day in October 2010:

              Psalm 37:4 (NIV1984)  “Delight yourself in the Lord
                and he will give you the desires of your heart.” 

 

My job as Administrator at Christos Center for Spiritual Formation has continued to be God’s excellent provision and a match for the desires of my heart. What a delight and a privilege to be working in a place of ministry where I can serve our clientele while continuing to develop a deeper relationship with God as I avail myself of the many classes and events sponsored through Christos.

 

The God of the impossible made my desires a reality. How beautiful that God would match His desires for my life with my desires. 

 

REFLECTION:

During my two-year job search I did a lot of grumbling, whining, weeping, complaining and doubting that I would ever find a permanent job. I did not do it perfectly but I kept going back to God and listening for next steps. God guided and brought people alongside for encouragement and support, help with my resume, and suggestions to volunteer.

 

What is your experience with waiting and desire?

 

Where have you seen God matching your desires with His desires for your life?